The Deserving: What the Lives of the Condemned Reveal About American Justice by Elizabeth Vartkessian

The Deserving: What the Lives of the Condemned Reveal About American Justice by Elizabeth Vartkessian
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Elizabeth Vartkessian is the founder and director of nonprofit mitigation team called Advancing Real Change Inc. Simply put, their mission is to humanize a very inhumane institution, the American prison and legal system. Mitigation is not about proving an incarcerated person's innocence, rather it is about seeing beyond the terrible facts of their crimes, to their whole life and what led them to where they are today. This work is primarily done with men on death row, whose lives often include childhood abuse, both sexual and physical. They are people who may never have known a safe childhood, adequate food, parental love or a decent education. There may be drug addiction and/or mental illness.
The book is about seeing people as persons with a whole life story. By humanizing them, it also humanizes us. It made me think every time I sat down with it, and challenged my unexamined beliefs. I could see myself coming back to this book again in the future. It's a lot to take in at one time.

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Eat A Peach by David Chang

Eat a Peach by David Chang
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Wow, I'm not even sure how to describe this book and my feelings about it. I went into it without knowing much about the author, except that he was a celebrity chef. Much of the book was about his struggles, with mental health- depression, bipolar, thoughts of suicide, as well as his struggles to create food that people would want to eat. By his own admission, he was an a$$hole for many years, fed by his mental health issues and his desire to get ahead. Meeting his wife when he was almost 30 was a big turning point for him, as well as having a child, and the #MeToo movement.
This passage really resonated with me.

This all raises the question of whether depression is something you can control by simply sucking it up. My answer is no, I don't think you can overcome it with willpower, but I do believe that dealing with depression is a choice that needs to be made. You have to choose to stand up every day and keep going.

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Wayward Girls by Susan Wiggs

Wayward Girls by Susan Wiggs
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

5.0 stars - Definitely one of my favorite books this year. Susan Wiggs is one of my favorite authors, and this book resonated with me in so many ways. The setting was western NY, and the time frame mirrored my own, growing up in the sixties and seventies. The main arc of the story, which centered around abuse in Catholic institutions, babies stolen from teenage mothers, and other atrocities were things I never had experience with (thank God), but totally believe happened. The story told of a group of teenage girls who were sent to a Catholic reform school in Buffalo, NY for various reasons, to keep one safe from a predatory stepfather, another one because her academic parents were being held against their will in China, a third to try to reform her gayness away and a fourth, because she was grabbed during a race riot, who banded together inside for survival, but lost touch for years after escaping. I became invested in the characters, and appreciated both the past and present timelines.
But it was the little things that really sealed the deal for me, the mention of Loblaws giving free tickets to Crystal Beach for good grades, eating beef on weck, and girl who went on to become a librarian from Brockport.
Whether you read it for the main story line, or because you can relate to the local references, it is definitely a book worth reading.

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The circle of life - 2025 holiday newsletter

This year began with the birth of our youngest granddaughter - Zelda Therese Anuenue in February:

and sadly ended with the death of my brother-in-law, Lynn, in mid-December. Along the way, Arian and Danielle officially announced their engagement:

We didn't often venture far from home this year, a wonderful trip out west in June, where we visited those who remained of my dad's family in Idaho and Montana, and went to Yellowstone.

We took a short trip to beautiful French Lick, Indiana for our anniversary.

Our time at home was spent gardening (great garlic and lavender crops), working on genealogy (Kim), and John's new hobbies of talking to Grok and keeping aquariums. And hosting family - my niece and her spouse, our offspring and their spouses, and grandchildren and their intendeds.

Many blessings from our house to yours for the coming year.

A Genealogical Goldmine

In 1944, my aunt (Gladys) made this scrapbook for her only sister, who was soon to be married. While most of the pages were cut out from magazines, like this one

some held the answers for which I've searched high and low.The first question was about a cousin named Tore, who my mother wrote about in several letters to my father. All I had was a first name, the fact that his parents were Norwegian, and they escaped from Norway in World War II. Hunting through newspapers with such limited information, hadn't yielded an results. But lo and behold, here were four articles about him!

It turns out the little boy was named Tore (Thore) Kvammen, and he was born in the last quarter of 1942 in the Hammersmith District of London, during an air raid. His mother was the daughter of Karoline Antoinette Larsen and Bernhardt Johannesen, who was born in 1918 and married to Mathias Kvammen, a Norwegian army captain. The mother and son left from Swansea, Wales on 11 Mar 1944 on the Grey County, a Norwegian merchant vessel that could carry up to 12 pass. It was involved in various convoys, often sailing between North America, Halifax, St John, New Brunswick and the UK. An article published in the Chicago Tribune - 26 Oct 1944 - p.15 reported the following story. When they arrived in Canada, the mother stayed in Toronto, serving as a member of the Norwegian Women's Army, based at Camp Little Norway. Her 2 year old son, traveled by train in the care of a 20 year old Royal Norwegian Air Force flier, Just Ebesen, and then left with my grandparents, and my mother, who was living at home. My grandmother is quoted as saying "She will keep the child until her niece is able to come for him - in a month or a year." I'm not sure exactly how long he did stay, although I do know that in March 1945, he left from St John, New Brunswick, Canada to return to Liverpool, England. Much more of the story remains to be uncovered.
The other mystery solved by the scrapbook had to do with who was in my parents wedding. I share the sharpened image here:

Before finding the newspaper article in the scrapbook, I could only identify my parents, her siblings, Roy and Gladys, and the flower girl, her niece Virginia. That left the two bridesmaids, two groomsmen, and the ring bearer, who I now know to be Katherine Golden and Edith Streat, mom's schoolmates, and Stewart Grove and William Morgan, who I believe to be dad's friends from the navy. The little ring bearer was a 5 year old named Lee Brink. All those people with stories to tell. Whose stories can I find and share?

The journey of Frank Harris and Minnie Agee to couplehood

 The other day I received a document from the National Archives for my grandfather, Frank Allen Harris (1889-1957) that was all they had on his military service in World War I. From his 1917 WWI Draft Registration card we find out that he was born 9 Jun 1889, in Great Valley, NY. In 1917, he was single, living in Baker, Lemhi county, Idaho, working on a farm owned by Peter Kinney. From various census records, we know that he was in New York in 1905 and in 1910 working as a farm hand for Walter Brown, who was also from New York. (He must be the Walt referred to in the postcard below, which shows Frank (in the sidecar) and his just younger brother Duane in 1917).

On the back: Dear Father, How are you all? Us boys are getting along fine. We've has a pretty snug winter here so far. Has been 24 below. How is Grandma & Grandpa. I suppose Velma is in Franklinville and is Walt still in York. Didn't have any idea he could ever give up the west. I am going to write in a day or two. Will close with best wishes to all. D.H.

From the NARA document, we see he enlisted out of Salmon, Idaho on 27 May 1918 and in August 1918, he was on the Briton, an Army transport as part of the 40th Division, "F" Company 115th Ammunition Train, on his way to France. I was hoping to find more details from NARA about this part, but no luck. More research is required there. What I did find out is that he was part of the Fort D.A. Russell Casual Detachment, in Laramie, WY, mustered out on 30 Apr 1919, given $128.42 in pay, which included travel funds of $41.40. From there he caught the train back to Salmon.

Minnie, Walter, and John Calvin Agee c. 1917

Minnie Agee (1903-2000), came to Idaho from Missouri with her parents James Alexander Stark (Allie) and John Calvin Agee sometime between the birth of her sister Lizzie in 1907, and Virginia Velma  in 1910. I have a letter, written by my Uncle Frank in 1995, that tells the story of her early life. From what I can piece together, the last of October or first of November, 1918 she started back to Missouri with her father but only got as far as Denver and everyone there was sick with Influenza (the Pollard family). Mother stayed there and took care of the family - Jack, Ada, Louie, Freddy and their mother, Mrs. Pollard. She stayed there until Easter [April 20, 1919] and came back to Salmon. Her siblings, Walter, Mettie, and Lizzie were in Salmon by then, and Mettie was married to Richard Evans. Walter sent mother the money to come back. 

It was on the train trip from Denver to Salmon (via Laramie?) that my grandparents met. She was still 15, she would turn 16 in June. He was 29, turning 30 in June. They went to Dillon, Montana four months later, in September, 1919 and were married for 38 years until my grandfather's death in 1957.

This crudely done map represents their journeys. Grandpa Harris is the blue paper/red dots. He started in New York in 1889, came to Idaho around 1910, was released from the Army in Wyoming in 1919. Grandma (yellow paper/green dots) was born in Missouri in 1903, moved with her family to Idaho around 1907, and was coming back from Denver, Colorado in 1919. The pink paper in Dillon, MT where they got married.

You can read more about Allie's story here: https://xbmill.blogspot.com/2025/08/james-alexander-stark-extraordinary.html

Life in 1987 - a look back - memories from the family journal

12/31/1986 – Kim worked, then spent NY Eve with Glen & Becky. Played Trivial Pursuit and put together a puzzle.

1/1/1987 – John quit smoking. Went shopping at JCP – A got pink shirt and black cords, B got bl/gy/wine sweater, C & M got shirts. M got new shoes. Did kite puzzle that A got for Christmas.

1/2/1987 – First snowfall. John home with kids, Kim smashed into guardrail (Erin Rd) on the way to work. J & Kids went to lunch with K at BK. Busy day at work. A shoveled snow, B went out and played in snow, C went to D & D w/John. M made angels in the snow.

1/3/1987 – Stayed home. John went to Walter & Tony’s. Kids went to see McNeils. Played in snow. J is teaching kids to play D & D. Chicken, potatoes, corn & peas for dinner. Bought pants & shirt for Matt.

Books from library: Polar Bear, Everyone knows what a dragon looks like, Prehistoric life.

1/4/1987 – Went to Sunday School, and then sledding on Campagna’s hill with mom. Great fun, with only 2 broken legs & a ruptured spleen (jk). Dad & Matt stayed home. Had baths. Played D & D.

1/5/1987 – John was home from work. Went to lunch with Kim & Matt. A: Poured vinegar on everything in Science. Some smoked, dissolved, got etc. B: Dad picked up the kids C: Played D & D after school. M: Got a Pizza Hut Play kit. Brandon went shopping & to Aunt Gail’s with mom. A read “There’s a monster under my bed”.

1/6/1987 – Warmish (39*) Red sky at night. John went back to work. Kim talked to Bernie about house on Park Ave. Brandon got pencils & crayons at the store. Adrienne got paper for school. Corey got his teeth bonded and got STICKERS! Matt didn’t want to go to Center because of Jessica Jackson. Got fine in mail from Waterloo.

1/7/1987 – Drizzly (mid 30s) Got another from Justice Bates. Also interest for savings account. J – 4.5 hrs at DuPont. Played D&D w/Adrienne. Kids all went to Center. Grandma Harris picked them up. Adrienne did latch hook in school. Brandon got the book “Animals of the Darkness” from L-W. Corey melted his snowsuit on the heater. Matthew went to Search (committee?) with mom, B & C, and to the library after.

1/8/1987 – Warm (mid 30s) light, powerdy snow. John stayed after for party for Joe Pleschok. Got a book club notice in mail. Slow day at work. Brandon got a perfect test in reading, made a monster in computer. Adrienne had music lesson in school. Corey got reading cards: yellow, green, red, blue, boy, and girl. Matt moved to the Preschool room at Center.

1/9/1987 – A took a nap so she could go to D&D. B took his centaur to school, everyone liked it. C gets to have his life on the bulletin board at school on March 16-20. Matt got moved up to the Preschool

group at Center. K, B, C, & M went to the movie Gentle Giant (Ben) which everyone enjoyed. Went to Terre’s after & joined Adrienne and John for pizza dough at DiSalvo’s. Adrienne and Brandon have to pay $.25/day for lunch.

1/10/1987 – 4” of snow (34*), then rain. Winteree at Albion JH School. John, Brandon & Corey went. Brandon’s team won 3rd place overall. Corey’s team won the Tug of War. Matt went to town with just mommy this morning. We went to Penney’s (blue necklace and earrings), Goodwins (unicorn - $2.00), Post Office (get money order for ticket $35), Midtown Restaurant for ice cream cone, Corky’s for meltaways. In the PM went w/K & A to get groceries, and to the library. Read: “Magic Slippers”. Tacos for supper.

1/11/1987 – Warm, then cold and windy. Church Council installed. $905.75 in offering. Moved lots of wood. Went sledding on Gallagher’s Hill. It was cold! Adrienne went bowling with Jessica Boyce. Kim

went to Bingo with Grandma H. Didn’t win.

1/12/1987 – Winter Olympics at Little People Center. Adrienne got cards to sell.

1/13/1987 – Brandon had Cub Scouts. Got Pinewood Derby car. Corey broke lamp in bathroom this AM, and had a bad day. John in Albany.

1/14/1987 – B went to Center, played with clay at search (?). Asked to be on Odyssey of the Mind team.

Corey went to Center after school. Matt made a snowman. Kim got perm, look like Little Orphan Annie.

John home at 8:15pm.

1/15/1987 – Brandon had to stay after for Odyssey. Its going to be a play about Boston Tea Party.

Adrienne had music lesson. It went okay. John went to U of R. Kim got eyes examined. Matthew made mittens at Center. Corey got a book “Biggest, longest, best”. Pizza for supper.

1/16/1987 – John went to D & D again. Brandon went with him for a while, but didn’t do too good.

Brandon and Kim went to Penney’s and bought – B: karate suit ($4.99), sweater ($4.99), undershirts; C: Velour B/W shirt ($3.99), sweater ($3.99); J: gloves ($4.99). Stopped by Gail’s with Small Business Survival Course information and went to Bells. Saw Steve Garrety (H/S bus driver) at work. Got W-2 from work. Hash & peas for dinner.

1/17/1987- John went to Cub Scout Committee meeting. Bernie E. from Kodak called. Did spring cleaning. Kim and A went to library. Adrienne got “5 Chinese Brothers” for Storyteller’s Contest. Corey worked hard on moving wood. Matt heard “Dreams” by Peter Spier. Chicken Chow Mein w/rice for supper. 

2/21097- Groundhog Day. He saw his shadow, so there will be 6 more weeks of winter.

2/3/1098- Adrienne was very helpful after school. A, B, & C came home after school. Brandon had Cub Scouts, they are making placemats for the Blue & Gold Banquet. Corey worked hard at school. Matt stopped at the store with mom. His day was good. He was up early. Dad went to Ithaca and Corning. Rent going up $10. New person at DMV – Rose Johnson. Gave Gail permanent.

2/8/1987- The basement is wet, weather is warm enough that the snow is melting on the north end.

Watched Labyrinth and Back Moon Rising.

2/10/1987- John went to Business First. Matt & Corey made a heart mouse. The electricity was off in Albion today. Adrienne is studying rocks and minerals in science. Brandon saw a heart dog in Mrs.

Thomas’ room. Got invited to Tom & Jeanne’s wedding in Hilton 3/27 at 6:00pm.

2/11/1987 – John went to the U of R and someplace else. Kim went to lunch with Gerry. Came home & went to bed. Feeling bleecky, John fixed pork chops, applesauce, creamed corn, and green beans for supper. Brandon made a heart dog. Matt brought January Brings the Snow home.

3/27/1987- Matt is 4 today! John & I took the afternoon off and picked Matt up at Center. He had his picture taken. We went to Terre’s he got a transformer Big Wheel. The kids and John put it together.

Birthday party at momo & pappy’s that night. Matt got little people, sunglasses, puzzle, underoos, 3 shirts and 4 pants, 2 pairs of pajamas, and a little transformer toy. It was a great day. Kim & John went to Tom and Jeanne’s wedding. A & C stayed at Mo & Pap’s. B & M at Becky and Glen’s. Us, too.

4/12/1987 – Went to Rochester. Bought 3 piece suits (13.97@) for C & M. 2 piece pants outfit for M ($1.97), He-Man shirt for B ($3.97), shoes for C & B ($12 & $15). Purchased box set of Chronicles of Narnia ($16.95-15%) with the kids pop money. Matt got Bernstein Bears and the Sitter. Read the complete book: “The Littles” by John Peterson on the way, “Out of the Nursery, Into the Night”. Had supper at Glen & Becky’s (spaghetti). Brandon stayed over. Read the last chapter of “The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe” at home, and Matt’s new BB book.

8/2/1987- Mo and Pap came down to celebrate their anniversary (36) and B’s birthday (8). We were going to the Amherst Museum Colony Fair, but it poured so we went to the Buffalo Museum instead.

Not a really great time, but okay. Stopped at Lockport on the way home and picked up presents for Brandon. Matt got a Slime Creature from Outer Space.

8/3/1987 – Brandon’s birthday – 8years old. Brandon in Rochester with Momo & Pappy for the morning. John brought him home at noon. Played at Steve and Todd’s in the afternoon. Kim quit at 4:00 and made a chocolate chip cake with white frosting + M&Ms. Had a treasure hunt for presents. Brandon got Insectaur, Rambo, Legions of Power, shirt, belt (G&B, M&P) and He-Man sword and shield, and Legions of Power(us), $5.00 from G&L, and from G &GH.

8/4/1987 – Today, the kids went to the Library and bought some candy for the way home. We played with Legions of Powers for about 1.5 hours. I read them some books (babysitter). They swam and played at playground for an hour. They also played with friends. We took a walk, played Sorry and Monopoly.

8/5/1987 – We started playing with Legions of Power for 2 hrs, engaged in a battle. We read a book and went to the library to return books. We played Sorry and Monopoly before lunch. We also went for a

walk. They played at Steve’s house, dodge ball, around-the-world, and baseball.

8/6/1987 – Today, we began with Legions of Powers, protecting our castle. We then went to the playground. We had relay races and obstacle courses. After their swimming lesson we again played at the playground. We also read some books, before lessons. They ended the day by playing with friends.

Got Adrienne’s Mumford and Renaissance Fair pictures in the mail.

8/7/1987 – The day began with some reading that included some fairy tales, birds and Wordbird. Brandon and Corey had a lot of fun playing the beginner games in swimming. All enjoyed free swim and Adrienne liked the water polo game. We took a walk to the library and got the tapes and more books. We ended the day by watching Bernstein Bears.

8/17/1987 – Adrienne spent most of her day with Melissa. Brandon, Corey and Matt went with Lisa to the park and came back and ate. They rested and then Lisa read to them.

8/18/1987- The kids played Monopoly in the morning with Lisa. Then they did chores and played until 3:00 pm in the pool with their friends. They came in and did the rest of their chores and Lisa read to them. 

8/19/1987 – The kids watched a movie and did their chores. We went to the park. The kids came home

and played in the pool until about 2:00. They the ate and rested while Lisa read to them.

8/20/1987 – The kids played Monopoly in the morning while showing Donna (new sitter) “A Christmas Story” for a while. Then they did their chores and ate lunch while watching the second half of the Price  is Right. Then they went outside and played in the pool, both in the morning and afternoon. Around  1:00 they came in and put puzzles together. We went to the library and exchanged books. I read to them. Then we drew on the porch, and watched He-Man at 3:30, and Facts of Life at 4:00.

8/21/1987 – Adrienne 10 years old – The kids ate breakfast, I read to Brandon. They played outside until lunch time. They watched a movie and played outside with the neighbors. I laid out in the sun (sitter), and the kids did their chores. They also listened to records. Then Brandon was taken to the doctor’s. We went and got the leaves and watched She-Ra.

8/22/1987 – Adrienne had a slumber party with Melissa Stanton, Julie Hughes, Maureen H., and Theresa Miller. Tacos, angel cake, chips, etc. Had 2 treasure hunts. A got 2 necklaces, 2 sets of earrings, one from Tamara and a jewelry box. Watched Labyrinth. The boys went to Lakeside Beach.

11/25/1987 – Matt had Thanksgiving at Head Start. Took time off and went to it.

11/26/1987 – Had Thanksgiving at Glen & Becky’s. Brought turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes, noodle pudding, cranberry sauces, spiced apple rings. Grandma Skelly was there with Momo & Pappy. Played euchre (?) – probably pinochle – after supper.