James Alexander Stark, an extraordinary woman.

5 Sep 1878 - 19 Aug 1917

My great-grandmother was an extraordinary woman. She was the second daughter of James Alexander Stark and his (second) wife, Nancy Elizabeth Owsley. She had an older sister, Susan Emma, three older Stark half siblings, three older Brown step-siblings, and six younger half siblings from her mother's second marriage. 

Growing up, I had always been told her name was James Alabama Stark, but that she was called Allie. It was only a few years ago, when I started seriously researching her, that I found her actual name was James Alexander Stark, after her father who died five months before she was born. I knew she was born in Missouri, in Hickory County in 1878, so the only pre-marriage census that is extant is the 1880 one.  But I couldn't find her in any 1880 Missouri census. 

I had 2 clues to her parents. Her father's name was James Alexander Stark, and her mother signed permission for her to marry with the name Nancy E Brown. So I starting looking for Nancy Stark in the 1880 census, and found her, now a widow living on Main St in Cross Timbers, Hickory County, Missouri. She was the head of household that included the 2 Stark children, and her brother and sister with the last name of Owsley. I hadn't known her mother's maiden name, so this was a breakthrough.

The only catch was that the children were Emma, age 2, a daughter and  a son, James A., age 1. But wait, what if the enumerator just asked the ages and names of the children, and unbeknownst to Nancy, recorded her baby girl as a son? This was confirmed in her grandfather's will, written just months after she was born - as granddaughter James Alexander Stark. 

I will that at marriage or when they become of legal age that my executor pay to Susan E. Stark and James Alexander Stark, daughters of James A Stark and my grandchildren, the sum of Ten Dollars each.

From the Will and Testament of Pleasant Stark, dated 9 December 1878

Little is known of Allie's childhood. Her mother married a widower, William Samuel Brown, when Allie was about three years old, and from this marriage, six children were born. And so it was, that just after her 17th birthday, Allie married John C. Agee, age 21. For the next 12 years they remained in Hickory County, Missouri, where Allie gave birth to at least six children, two sons dying in infancy. 

In 1907 or possibly 1908, the family packed up and moved out west. We know that they took a trip in May 1907: "John Agee and son Guss and family started last Wednesday overland in a covered wagon for a trip through the Ozark country for the benefit of Guss's health." 

AI tells me a trip by covered wagon from Hickory Co, Missouri to Lemhi Co, Idaho would take between 4 and 6 months, would require meticulous preparation of up to a year in advance, and often was preceded by the family selling off their goods and property. This occurred in Oct 1907 (30 acres of land) and Nov 1907 (joint sale of goods between John and his brother-in-law Tilden Johnson). This leads me to believe that the fall and winter were spent getting ready and the two families probably left in the spring of 1908. Tilden and Ida Belle Johnson would only stay a short while out there, long enough for their son Harry Giles to be born, but they were back in Hickory County for the 1910 census and every one thereafter.

John and Allie lived on Sandy Creek and would have one more child together, Virginia Velma, who was born in October 1910, but died the same year. This is what a cabin on Sandy Creek looked like in 1934, theirs was probably less elaborate.

They separated soon after. Allie and her remaining children (Walter, Mettie, Minnie - my grandmother, and Elizabeth) moved out into Salmon, where Allie worked to provide for them as a cook, either on ranches or at the Yellow Jacket mine, according to a 1995 letter from my uncle. 

Allie, Minnie and Elizabeth Clarissa c. 1908

In 1913, a life changing event occurred. Allie was working on the Brown ranch as a housekeeper for a 60 year old man. She was by now divorced from John and keeping company with a young man named Guy Buster. One night while Allie, Guy and her 15 year old son, Walter, were out walking they met Mr. Brown, coming from the other direction.

All Idaho, U.S., Old Penitentiary Prison Records, 1882-1961

Guy Buster, 1913

Mr. Brown told Guy to leave, and started hitting him with his walking stick. Guy then proceeded to shoot him 3-4 times. He claimed self-defense. Both Allie and Walter supported and testified to that claim. Guy was first convicted and sentenced to 10-30 years in the penitentiary, but the conviction was later overturned, a new trial took place in 1915, and it was overturned a final time in 1917. 

It was about this time that Allie left Idaho and went to Dillon, Montana, where she worked in the Acaia cleaning establishment. In 1917, she contracted erysipelas, a Streptococcus A bacterial skin infection, and died a month later in August, 1917, leaving four minor children Walter, 19, Mattie, 17, Mattie, 14 and Lizzie, 10, and a $94.00 funeral bill. 

The funeral home still exists today, and sent me a copy of this bill, and was very helpful in trying to obtain for me the actual location of where she is buried. 

We went west this summer, and that was one of my main objectives, but all I could find out was that she was likely buried in the churchyard of the First Baptist Church, where the funeral was held. However, when the church moved into town, the marked graves were disinterred and the remains taken to Mountain View Cemetery. There is no record of her in the cemetery, so her final resting place remains a mystery. Wherever she is, may she rest in peace.

Holiday Greetings from Crossville

It's hard to believe that 2024 is almost in the books, and that we have lived in Tennessee for more than 5 years now. We may live in Tennessee, but our hearts are with our loved ones, wherever you may be. We did some traveling this year, our first trip to Florida - Pensacola, in January; Hawai'i again in February to see our newest granddaughter; Indy/NY for the eclipse, Missouri in May to see Alden graduate and do another section of Route 66, and back to NY in July for John's sister, Jean's Celebration of Life. We finished our travels with a trip to Virginia for our anniversary and a short trip to do the Illinois section of Route 66 in September. We were blessed with several visits from family, including all four grandsons and Corey and Jess at Thanksgiving. Here are a few of our favorite memories.

Nothing to Fear: Demystifying Death to Live More Fully by Julie McFadden

Nothing to Fear: Demystifying Death to Live More Fully by Julie McFadden
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

4.5 rounded to 5 stars - This was a Nana's book club selection and it took several weeks to get it off reserve, but it was a quick read once I did. It is one of eight books on the End of Life GR bookshelf that I have read, and the only thing you should read into that is that I find the subject of our humanity interesting. When I was much younger, midwives and birthing were the topics, and now death and dying hold a little more interest.
Our society has stigmatized the topic of death. We don't routinely care for our dying ourselves, often sticking them in a hospital to die, too many times, by themselves. But those are not good deaths. The author spent many years as an ICU nurse and watched families agree to procedures and extraordinary measures that, while prolonging the outcome, did not change the fact that their loved one was dying. In the ICU, the rule was life at any cost, and often families didn't realize the futility and pain involved.
She had a life changing moment when she suggested a family conference for one patient, and when the family fully understood the situation, their choices changed. Shortly after, she left the ICU to become a hospice nurse.
The fact is, we all die. We can't change that. But to some extent, we can choose how we die. Hospice facilitates those choices. Will we die at home, or in a hospice center, surrounded by loved ones, having said the things we need to say, shared memories and made plans, and kept comfortable? Or will we die in a hospital, pumped full with liquids our bodies can no longer process, and medications that are really doing anything for our quality of life?
The book is gentle, and while the language may seem too simplistic - sometimes the advice is repeated several places, it is written in a way that allows people to process it, even people who are overwhelmed or grieving. She tells patients and loved ones - this is your end of life journey, what do you want it to look like.
Some of the topics covered in the book include: what does death entail - there is a process our body will go through, sometimes starting weeks or months before we die; what interventions help (pain medication, etc.), and which do not (forcing food and water); what are the most important things a caregiver needs to do for their loved one (keep them clean, safe and comfortable); how to let things go; how to ask for and get help; what hospice can do to help - and what it can't do; and advice for the dying and their caregivers.
This is a book that should live in every home. Read it now, before the time is upon you, read it when you are in the process, and read it again, for the advice on grieving.

View all my reviews

2023 Holiday letter

Happy holiday, friends!
2023 was a wonderful year at our house. We joined the East Tennesee Gleaners Co-op where we taught a few classes, took a few more and enjoyed the company of like-minded people. Of course we planted a garden, focusing on tomatoes, peppers, okra, and garlic, as well as some squash and gourds, with great results. This was the first year we were able to break even on the garlic, selling about 10 pounds for seed. We also planted (with the help of a few grandsons!) 50 or so lavender for the bees.
We hosted family and friends a bunch, including friends from Texas, and most of the children and grandchildren, as well as my sister and brother-in-law. In addition to that, we did a bunch of traveling, Texas in January; Charleston in March; a quick trip to NY in April; Missouri in May, where we got to visit Alden, see where my grandmother was born and some ancestral graves, and start our Route 66 journey; Arizona in September, where I met my cousin Carl and his wife Patty for the first time, saw the Grand Canyon, and enjoyed more of Route 66!; and finally a trip to Colorado last week to see Cirque du Soleil in Denver. This was the reason I retired!
Now we are home, enjoying our Christmas decorations and the quiet until we sojourn to Hawai'i next February to see our new granddaughter, November, and her older sister, August, as well as Matt and Niah.
I'll close this letter with a few photos, and wishes for all the blessings of this holiday season for you and your loved ones.

Health, part I

The thing about this blog is that it's safe. No one reads it. So all the fears, anger and other emotions that I don't know what to do with, I can put here. The last six weeks... It started in early August when I felt something weird happening on my back. I asked John to look at it, he told me it looked like a mole and we should get it looked at. We took a photo, and I called the dermatologist.

By the time I got into see him, a week later, it looked like this:

I was floored when the dermatologist said - "oh, that's a tick" and then removed it. Because of the irritation around it, he prescribed Doxycycline, a powerful antibiotic that I took twice a day for two weeks. Two weeks of throwing up, staying out of the sun, and halfway through the treatment, getting thrush. He also did a complete body scan, to look at any moles or skin conditions that might be a problem in the future. I specifically asked about something that had recently - I think sometime in the spring, shown up on my breast. It was skin colored with a hard brown core. He told me it was a cyst, and I shouldn't worry about it. So, about a week after finishing the tick treatment, around Labor Day, I noticed what looked like a pimple there. It quickly turned into an abscess. So I called the dermatologist office to try to get seen, but it was going to be two weeks. I made the appointment, and started putting drawing salve on it, and a lot of pus came out. I was able to get into see my PCP, on 9/11, a few days later. She was on maternity leave, and the elderly doctor (started practicing in 1971) said he thought it might have been a bug bite that got infected.He prescribed Bactrim, a sulfa-based antibiotic, and Nystatin to have on hand, should my thrush return.

So here I am 5 days later, trying to figure out what to do about the upcoming trip to Arizona and the Grand Canyon.

Day 3 - Geocaching, Adventure Labs, and Rte 66

Day 3 - We spent much of the day on Rte. 66, doing two adventure labs, and eating at an authentic diner. The first lab was focused on Uranus, a kitschy themed tourist attraction whose motto is "It's not a town, it's a destination." There's a fudge factory, a rocket, the world biggest belt buckle, a sideshow - you get the idea.

The afternoon adventure was honoring the soldiers - Fort Leonard Wood is located here. We went to two cemeteries, and four memorials.

Finally, no trip to Rte. 66 would be complete without a diner experience.