It's been a day

Yesterday, I went back to the cardiologist for my 2nd stress test. This one I actually made it all the way to the 6 minute mark. He tells me I likely don't have a blockage, so it's unlikely I'll have a heart attack anytime soon. Good thing. The not as "good thing" is that I have high blood pressure and diastolic heart failure. See Diastolic Heart Failure at WebMD for some basic information. I am on a low salt diet, 2 diuretics, and a weigh myself and take my blood pressure daily regime. Also, lose weight and exercise more, of course. I'm not 100% sure what the prognosis is, right now I'm just trying to wrap my head around the diagnosis and wondering whether it is correct, or whether this could be the beginning of another medical roller coaster ride, where we see specialist after specialist and try to get a correct diagnosis, like we did for John 10 years ago. Enough about this for now.

I had a difficult conversation with my boss yesterday. Difficult because I didn't know how to broach the subject, and it was a very emotional subject (see above), but one that I desperately needed to have. So I sent Bob an email and said, "Come see me in my office when you have a few minutes." He looked a little surprised when I told him to come in, shut the door and have a seat, and then prefaced the conversation with "this is a difficult conversation for me to have, so I wanted to do it in my office, not yours." Bob (looking confused): OK. Me: Bob, you are for the most part a great boss, but right now I need you to be a little more (did I say hands on? involved?) with me. For example, when I go into your office and ask you if I look okay, healthwise, you should ask why. And why I tell you I am having a stress test, I need you to ask me about it. Bob: Have you ever had a stress test? Me: Yes, about a month ago, and I mentioned it to you then. I am having another one this afternoon. Bob: OK.... and so we talked, about my concerns, about his "cardiac event", about the fact that he is a little desensitized to mentions of stress tests because he has them fairly frequently. Anyway, when he left 10-15 minutes later, I felt a little better, like I'd be less likely to (okay, maybe I'm being a drama queen here) die in my office and no one would notice. And today, first thing, Bob came in and asked me how it went. Hurrah.

Other conversations of the day. I met with Frank this morning. I had met with him 2 years ago to discuss whether an MLS degree or an MBA would serve me better. He didn't hesitate to say the MBA. And here I am 2 years later at another crossroads. Do I double up on my courses to finish my degree in one year, or keep at this pace at finish in 2? I do not know. I can see pros and cons for both. Doing it in one year, gets it over quicker, but costs more money and is more work and is more stressful. But, in theory, it opens more opportunities to me, as well. What I really hoped to accomplish from this meeting was really to get on Frank's radar when opportunities arose, and plant some seeds that might produce a cash crop in the future. I felt like I accomplished those things.

I also spoke with Pat today. After talking Digital Commons for a bit, we talked about Bob as a boss (I shared with her my conversation from yesterday), and the frustrations of being a professional in the library - no career track, etc. I feel like I work in a superstar department, and Pat is a fabulous example of it. It was really good just to be able to talk to someone who was facing many of the same issues I am, and get her perspective on it.

One last tidbit. A few days ago, I took a photo of the new SMART board, with students using it, and posted it to Facebook. Almost immediately, Logan responded by email. I didn't open it, expecting it to be some criticism. Today, I was feeling pretty good, so I decided to open it, what they heck - right?
"Great photo- thanks!" OK, I felt pretty silly about that one. :-)